What is coaching?

As I share more about my coaching practice with family and friends, I have heard a lot of “This sounds great! But what are you talking about when you say ‘coaching??’” I totally understand this reaction. We have all come to our own socialized ways of knowing what we mean when we think about the word “coach.” I have definitely associated coaching with my past experiences with sports and athletic coaches - those individuals who taught me skills, gave personalized feedback, and motivated me as I pushed through physical challenges. I also thought about life coaches and executive coaches - people working in 1:1 or group settings to help others achieve personal development goals (maybe in a bit of a woo woo way when I thought about life coaching) and advance their leadership skills for a higher level leadership position.

There are many different kinds of coaching relationships and ways one can be a coach - so what am I meaning when I talk about coaching?

Coaching is a partnership focused on the client’s goals and led by the client’s needs and direction they would like to take to achieve their coaching goals. The coach holds non-judgmental space for the client, and provides structure for coaching sessions to ensure there is meaningful progress towards the client’s objectives. Coaches ask powerful questions to encourage deep reflection and processing, and have the client consider what they are learning about themselves and their situations through the coaching process. Coaches may also offer tools or activities for the client to choose to engage in that are in alignment with the session’s topic area and assist with the achievement of the coaching objectives. There is always action planning and accountability at the end of each session for the client to outline and choose things they want to do independently to continue their progress towards the coaching goals.  

Throughout the coaching relationship, the coach’s primary focus is the client - their thoughts, emotions, language, non-verbal behaviors, and general energy they are bringing into coaching sessions. They can be a cheerleader, close confidant, and act as supportive accountability to help with client progress. Ultimately, coaching relationships are built on a strong foundation of trust, allowing the client to be vulnerable and explore new and different things in a space focused on their needs and goals. 

Sounds pretty special, right? It definitely is! As a coach, as well as someone who has been coached previously, the transformations and changes I have seen individuals make in coaching are deeply meaningful and result in being able to live a more aligned life with one’s values.

So, now knowing what coaching is, what is it not?

Coaching is not counseling. Coaching is also not consulting. 

While we often talk about emotions clients may be feeling in coaching, coaches remain focused in the present experience of those emotions as they relate to the coaching topic and goals. They do not go into the client’s past, digging around for root causes of thinking patterns or where emotions may be coming from. Additionally, if a client brings a topic or says something that seems to be related to a mental health concern (anxiety, depression etc.), the coach will refer the client to seek out a mental health professional for support if they are not seeing one already. There is definitely an ethical boundary present between coaching and counseling as coaches are not trained mental health professionals and are not qualified to work with clients in these areas. If needed, they will make this distinction with clients and provide referrals.

Sometimes clients will come to coaching seeking advice and outside wisdom to direct them on decision making and action steps. This can especially occur if they have found a coach who aligns with their professional background or has some skill/lifestyle the client is looking to develop. Here is where we see the distinction between coaching and consulting - consultation and mentoring often include advice-giving, which is not a part of the coaching relationship. Coaching is not an advice-giving practice, but one where the coach holds space so the clients can seek answers within themselves. While this might be initially frustrating for a client, especially one who has experienced consulting, it is ultimately much more powerful once they discover answers and pathways from their own self-knowledge and learning.

Learning about coaching, being coached, and coaching others has been a huge positive light in this past year. Being able to hold space for others and support them in making meaningful changes and achieving new goals if very gratifying. It is definitely a privilege to cultivate these coaching relationships and witness someone on their journey to a more aligned life. 

Have thoughts or further questions about coaching, what it is and what it isn’t? I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to drop a comment or send me an email at corron.amy@gmail.com